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Slowly But Slowly

by Scott Gesser

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Nobody knows what hell looks like except me I took a trip there last fall, it was a pretty bad time There was food on the table but nobody would eat We spent the evening just staring at the bottles of wine And when I get the pictures I took And flip through all of those memories I hope they’ll be enough of a distraction To stop me for a moment from thinking of you This is the way I stumble through every day I’m flipping on my delay and I’m holding my own horses I’m a charity case locked with the key thrown away So impossible to break through my impenetrable fortress I took a job assembling boxes of things For other people to use, I couldn’t afford on my own One day I had enough and packed up all of that stuff I snuck it under my shirt and sped away to my home And when all those policemen appeared With their flashing lights and their crude demands I knew throughout the whole entire process I wouldn’t have a second to think about you I guess some might consider me crazy Or at the very least quite problematic But they don’t have you haunting their minds Every minute of every hour of every
There is a tunnel that leads out of the city The crooked soldiers trudging through one by one I watch them, high up from my perch in the tower The moving dotted line approaching the other side And I wait and I wait and I wait for the moment to come When the pilgrimage will finally be done And I long and I long and I long ‘til I’m biting my tongue Will the pilgrimage claim another blind son? For far too long they craved for nothing but silence The bustling boroughs had them clutching their skulls Not one could lay claim to pursuance of fortune It stood to reason that they must give this quest a try One by one There is a tunnel that leads into the ocean The crooked soldiers would have no way to know I cannot reach them from my perch in the tower But I can see them as they file toward their turn to die
The trick I learned to disappearing You can’t be brazen, you should just sit down Lay back and slide toward the horizon The Federales won’t protect you now I tried to blend in with the sheep herd Everyone clamoring around and round But no one’s into a newcomer It’s only moments until you’re found I can be invisible I can be whatever you want Look at me fade out of view I’m a goat in a cow’s clothing Take note of everything I’m saying This is precisely what you’ll need to do Commiserate with your surroundings No one’ll ever get the jump on you It’s borderline some kind of science Emerge from shadows and retreat with haste And then when you’re assimilated You’ll barely recognize your own face It’s not a lesson you can unlearn The sun is setting and the night draws near And when you wake up in the morning You must pretend that I was never here Sometimes I want to scream out into the ether But I took the medicine and I’m a believer My only options are remain a deceiver Or strike out on my own, or maybe it’s neither
Don't @ Me 03:43
Don’t at me Whatever you do, you’d better not look down A portrait of the opposite Of a man applying himself Far be it from me to judge begrudgingly The picture of mental health But I’m not the same on paper as in practice, I’ll confess When layers are peeled back We’re pretty much the same damn mess so I won’t be attending your party I won’t be around to say sorry I can’t be led into the back now I can’t wait to hear your attack now All your fame is due to nepotism A pattern forms of speaking out The checks that you can’t cash Your world is set ablaze, you clutch the magnifying glass I don’t claim to be perfect but I’ll lay back in the shadows While everything in your power Leads your ass right to the gallows and All the edge you held died years ago One out of two ain’t bad, but it ain’t good either Your emergency contact number is unreachable Whatever you put out fell rotten in the sun I doubt you could even understand this part Even if you’re reading along with the words right now Haha, good luck, Jim
Well, I never wanted to go back I never ran too far and sprinted off the track I never thought the sea was black I never found a puzzle that we couldn’t crack Maybe it’s time to break down Maybe we could live without running out of gas Maybe we should just stick around Maybe we could live without running from our past Or we could go, yeah Well, I never claimed to be aware I never magnified the dormant disrepair I never thought you’d even care I never threw my hands up, grasping at the air Well, I never felt betrayed before I never heard the deadbolt slide out from the door I never wanted to keep score
I never pictured Cupid with a girlfriend He always seemed to keep himself stunted I can see him with his arrows and his guiding light Affixing lovers together, then alone each night Ascending up above oblivious crowds Firing away at us to make his mom proud But when he clocks out Then does he muse upon his plight? When will it be his turn to fall in someone’s sight? Offer me your collar, baby I won’t pull you to the ground A tapestry of colors Maybe you’ll see me floating around A steady hand is always at his service The arrow flies, he wonders of the purpose And the voice in his subconscious Blaring, “Wrong is right” And the love he made surrounds him And he’s lost the fight I never pictured Cupid with a girlfriend Drinking for one to celebrate the day’s end
Track 7 03:06
The album’s almost done The tracks are sounding good and ready And I could do with one more But as I dwell upon a hook and a potential concept I don’t know what to record What am I gonna do? What am I gonna do with track seven? What am I gonna do with track seven? I wrack my brain for words And flip through my old spiral notebooks But nothing’s coming out right The hours slide along and I have yet to be productive I could be at this all night I can’t remember yearning so much just to take a break Maybe a quick respite (maybe a little rest of the eyes) Oh wait, who am I kidding? Sometimes I wish I didn’t have a desire to be creative It would be easier then As it is, I’ll keep on pushing for my self-imposed output Get up and try it again and again and again
Then all of a sudden we were around We could wear gas masks and check out the sounds But the constant trail of bread crumbs leads us to find That the case has already been cracked open wide Leaving the country sure seemed easier on paper I don’t know if we’ll find our way again All my devices are lost in the haze Brought on by years of uranium rays If we finally tamp down the blinking red light It’s a miracle if anyone sees us tonight I need a second opinion on this Does the moon look closer than it usually is? When they finally strike down that luminous light It’s a miracle if we survive through the night
Jawbreaker 03:30
Ten in the morning and my skin is burned Another notch into my bedpost earned I’ve been rewarded with a five buck note Gotta get my shit together and get on the boat I trudge along into the corner store And find a relic that I’ve seen before I overlook the numbing in my arm Thinking, “What could be the harm?” Jawbreaker You have all of my attention You’re my obsession, I’m bowing to you And I’ll write out my own confession I’ve learned my lesson for what not to do Another evening with a steel cage match I must confess, I’ve kind of grown detached I plug myself into a game of pong Let the console overtake me with its siren song I’ve got to admit I’m not as okay As I was feeling earlier today I’m not above another panic attack When the thoughts come rushing back Jawbreaker Beyond fixated, I’m a nervous wreck Got double vision as I hit the deck I’m hoping maybe I can drag myself to safety As the darkness overtakes me You know
Inside the vault it’s a little unsettling I keep feeling like there’s something I’m forgetting We made a plan so we’d all know what the cost is No one knew that we’d have to take a hostage Better sound the alarm Or else you’re going nowhere, going nowhere All my people are armed And now you’re going nowhere, going nowhere The job gives way to unparalleled distraction I’m pulling teeth just to process a reaction I tie your hands but I’d never want to hurt you It’s for the best if I don’t stoop to desert you My allies mock my impetuous decision How could I turn on such a stellar vision? As I draw close, my agenda fades to nothing I didn’t notice your finger on the button
I know I’ve never been too good with figures But every day my heart is growing bigger And so I only want to be the best for you, for you It’s not a matter of taking up my time Because your happiness should last a lifetime Our little family will see each other through and through Now I can always feel our fingertips entwined When we communicate we share a common mind I found me a wife And I know that she’s the one for me I know that she’s ineffably the best part of my life I found me a wife And it’s almost reverentially It’s in the way she looks at me and somehow gets me high In my formative days I felt aversion To navigate the world to find one person A feat I had an unpreparedness to divine, divine We walk along the shadow of our fortress Beneath the summer skies of pink and orange And all that I can think’s I’m proud to call you mine, you’re mine And as the wind picks up we turn to head back home To build a million memories atop our throne


released May 22, 2020


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Scott Gesser Phoenix, Arizona

I'm the guy who records all of this.

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