Up Above Buildings

by Scott Gesser

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1.
An Awful Lot 02:43
Well, I don’t believe in any sort of luck I spin the wheels just for fun It doesn’t matter if I’ve won And whenever the gears start getting stuck Your hive mind clears them up Yes, you’re the sunshine in my cup And if I had a dollar for every time I felt out of place I’d take all of my earnings And launch them into outer space And I want you to know that I love you an awful lot Sometimes I catch myself leaning against the wall And staring at my hands So much for the best laid plans But I’d jolt and sprint to your defense If it ever came to that So far ahead from where I’m at And if one day the mountains all crash down Upon a distant shore The gaps among the atmosphere Would only make me crave you more
2.
Audit 02:21
Climbing up the trail for all the wrong reasons Waiting for the night to come Taking all the cash out of the till Sneaking to buy her a chrysanthemum And it might seem suspicious if you keep on circling And it might not mean a thing But at the end of the day It’s gonna take a while to audit Holy mackerel, she says You admonish and beg her not to make a sound It’s not like there’s enough to cause a distraction For all the looky-loos around And you might have to break it When the chips meet with the floor And the prying eyes will sting more But at the end of the day It’s gonna take a while to audit Would you have the gall to keep it a secret? Would she not oblige to it? What, you realize, is her motivation To wrap it up and keep it hid?
3.
I was a narcissist Worlds of regression flowing through my headspace You spun Veruca Salt Mumbled the lyrics as you clutched your suitcase It was a dirty trap It was a line from your airport novel Joyful, I took the bait, falling into line to grovel You could have half a heart Half a heart’s half better than me You were a centerpiece A precious marvel for the thoughtless chatter I read your script in awe Acting like my motive mattered The menagerie was opened up And heaven looked just like you I held out hope and you snipped the rope I was a nervous wreck Aching in the weeds, ripped my chest asunder I pulled apart the bones Just in time to get pulled under
4.
Mazes 02:51
I’ve been dreaming up a storm But it wasn’t warm, gotta take its final form I confess, I’m such a mess But I guess I’m blessed when you peel off your dress ‘Cause nothing’ll get you higher Than a kick square in the ribs I’ve been curled up in a haze Been around for days just blazing mazes I reject when you direct I’m a derelict, even though you’re correct ‘Cause everyone’s got a knapsack Filled with mysteries to crack I pulled mine out to look at it Then I quickly put it back You think that I’m crazy as if my days run wasted I’m not so mistaken, I’m drawing mazes This guy here is in the clear He’d at least be near if he conquered his fear She knows how the water goes From the garden hose to her wilted rose The trips they could be taking From the comfort of their beds You look at me like a crook You could throw the book like the one that I took Downstairs, down where no one cares Or they’re unawares of unmanned repairs But ordering replacements Can take days or even weeks There’s nothing more demeaning Than the idiot who speaks Nothing gets you higher Than a kick square in the ribs Even when the kick itself’s assembled out of fibs
5.
Loose Cannon 03:08
Gawk, open maw in amazement Blistering alive in the slack, damp heat Your words drop hard on the pavement Cuts begin to form as they sting my feet Open to interpretation Closed to any chance that you’ll reassess Now I could use a vacation What I wouldn’t give to shrug off this mess But you’re a loose cannon Yeah, you’re a loose cannon And I’ve got to get you off the streets Gesturing in all directions Limbs splayed open wide like a worn out dog Submerged in fruitless obsessions I could use a dagger to pierce the fog Somebody somewhere above you Stuck a megaphone to your crooked mouth You plead your case ‘til they love you But even you don’t know what you’re on about I don’t know how to continue Ringing up the tin can at Parliament You’ll catch a stray bullet in you The night before the day of retirement
6.
Chow time, time to fill your head With the knowledge if you don’t fill up on bread All the edges brunt and bevel Level with you to get on their level But all the stripped down baritones you clench Won’t be enough to get you off the bench Learn to yearn, burn like a flame Dedicated to the one thing you can’t name This explains everything Everything this explains This explains everything Swallow the pride you tagged and bagged Your mind leapt forward but your body lagged Cry a river of paper boats Untag the frag, save the copper coats Almost nothing, still not quite Candles light themselves but they won’t burn bright Truck backing up won’t let you sleep Fall a mile behind, still hear it beep Kill me softly Kill me at medium volume Kill me loud Look alive and slay the demon Obscuring the dream that you believe in Roller coaster in your stomach drops But amuses you with its afterthoughts Clap trap the flap man snaps It’s a sack of crap, so take a nap By the time you’re back, the molasses fat cats Will stomp that flat when it meets the mat
7.
You spent so long seeing what you believe Now you only see what is real A friendship preserved in a jar full of hope Turned into a tattered ideal And I can’t agree to disagree And I need to look out once for me I carved all of the years in chalk upon the street But you are not the same You drift among the fog in Carolina heat Now you are not the same Think of the children your children will bear Eventually they’ll do the math What will you say to explain it away Behaving the way that you have? And I cannot fall upon my sword And I will no longer be ignored
8.
Dance Party 02:07
Fitted with a crown at the monument Hoping that we wouldn’t slip You curled up in my lap like a worn out cat Fear secured within your grip Let’s have a dance party Washington and 4th, hear the shots ring out Bullets pierce the indigo sky Silence like a cape over everything Solitary muffled cry Motherfuckin’ dance party If it’s a waking nightmare we’re in And forging ahead has left us for dead I don’t care anymore, I don’t care anymore I don’t care, I don’t care And that’s why I said
9.
I Before E 02:55
I pull the weight, I adore it The heirloom lost to a callous heist I’m getting ready to forfeit Heinous from the spirit of the poltergeist A geisha, leisurely foreign Feigning in her veins but she’s seizing it Her neighbor could be a sovereign Reigning with a force that’s counterfeit And I before E is failing I s’pose I’m weird in my leisure Under your surveillance, brutal feint Falling from heights that are either Obeisant or bound for the middle eight Yes, I have no need to inveigle Fighting off the zeitgeist, a codeine high Dizzy and beige like a dreidel Sitting on my keister until I die
10.
You are a maniac I’d like to think that you could understand I loathe the tactics that you tend to unfurl And I mean literally all of them You are a maniac The very thought of you can sour my day You dropped a seed into my head That I try to disregard so hard But it won’t go away And just in case I haven’t simplified it plainly One hundred and ten percent Beyond a shadow of a doubt You are a maniac Yes, you are a maniac And I gave up on you like you were a ghost But you remained oblivious And you clung onto me tight Just like a parasite to its host You are a maniac I long for fortitude to not complain But if I’m overly egregious Then you know where I picked it up It’s your brand of refrain I’m hoping that you’ve managed To piece it together now But if you’ve somehow faltered I will say it Once again, you are a maniac You are a maniac I must confess I could go on and on And if it ever happens that you should Happen upon this song I happen to be happy that you’re gone
11.
I saw a god today I don’t know if it’s the one I was taught about Called to it But it floated off and it left me drowning in doubt Was it something I said? Was it something that I failed to clarify? Oh no, was I in over my head Was it something unavoidable? I found the cure for hate Bottled it up and sent it to marketing Got returned They’d already moved on to the next big thing Another nod, another nullified arraigning In the rainfall, the rainfall I looked you up today You seemed wise with a cold, blank exterior You deserve Someone unlike me, so inferior
12.
You wake up in the morning Shield the mirror from your face And reconcile the path That let you wind up in this place And so you stop And weigh the pros and cons of turning tail But you can never win If you don’t get a chance to fail Sometimes you’ll want to quit But when push comes to shove You’ll always be a hero to the people that you love Success is when you just quit giving up The market on the corner seems so damn far away You acquiesce to check it out and then call it a day And so you go And all the while you might just deign to fall There’s victory in every step There’s triumph in the small

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released August 28, 2020

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Scott Gesser Phoenix, Arizona

I'm the guy who records all of this.

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