Carol seemed to be filled with self-pity
Teri kept on asking for a rain check
Rachel ran the KKK committee
Alexandra's face was like a train wreck
Tiffany was comatose and boring
Courtney fell in love with her vibrator
Allison would mark her territory
The last time I saw Kim, someone was trying to assassinate her
Kristy was a stalker who would tailgate
Harriet tore through me like a tissue
Jessica was nothing more than jailbait
Carla had some immigration issue
Gillian was charged with owl murder
Amber, she was living in a palm tree
Janet was a paraplegic burglar
Lisa bought a dildo, but only so she could use it on me
Joan was nothing but a coward
Gretchen hardly ever showered
Melissa fell asleep while at the wheel of a plane
Candace sounded like a man
Danielle lured kids into her van
That one girl from the Hague was cute
But I couldn't pronounce her fucking name
Jill was always getting sexts from Tyrone
Nancy was obsessed with drinking Monster
Connie was as clever as a pine cone
Marilyn, the FBI still wants her
Katherine was eerily nocturnal
Dana flat-out me, "I don't like you"
Natalie wrote death threats in her journal
Monique's name was the only thing about her that had an IQ
Tonya made me dress up like a hobbit
Kate had fourteen children to her knowledge
Leslie idolized Lorena Bobbitt
Marvin was a phase I had in college
Wilhelmina was awaiting death row
Emily would speak into a tin can
Olivia was missing her left elbow
Robin ran over my cat, then backed up and ran over him again
Jennifer would cheat at Yahtzee
Ellen was a legit Nazi
Stephanie slept in a bathtub filled with crack cocaine
I doubt I'll ever find a mate
I'll just be left to masturbate
The litany of girls I date are so fucked up I can't see straight
Or maybe I'm the one who's gone insane
Tom Snowden, from Alice Springs, Australia, turns in six soft, Arthur Russell-y covers of favorites from Björk, Kylie Minogue, and more. Bandcamp New & Notable Oct 11, 2020
Recorded on the Grecian isle of Hydra, this is blissed-out psych pop with stacked falsetto harmonies and luscious arrangements. Bandcamp New & Notable Apr 9, 2023
Two dozen 12-string acoustic improvisations that feel undeniably haunting, like lost transmissions from ancient Appalachia, rediscovered. Bandcamp New & Notable Oct 17, 2022