A Day At The Gym | Scott Gesser

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A Day At The Gym

from Chosen People Adjacent by Scott Gesser

	/

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lyrics

Hello elderly man riding topless on a bike
Hello elderly man riding topless on a bike
You’re seventy-four but you’re ripped
And proud of what you look like
So, hello elderly man riding topless on a bike

Hello lady talking loudly on a Bluetooth on the treadmill
Hello lady talking loudly on a Bluetooth on the treadmill
If you don’t pretend you’re important right now, then nobody will
Fuck off, lady talking loudly on a Bluetooth on the treadmill

Hello dude showing off to his buddies with the weights
Hello dude showing off to his buddies
With the really heavy weights
Good luck spending the rest of your life wearing a neck brace
Sorry there, dude showing off to his buddies with the weights

Hello old woman reading Fifty Shades Darker on the elliptical
Hello old woman reading Fifty Shades Darker on the elliptical
I don’t know for sure but I bet it’s frowned upon
To play with your nipple
But have a blast, old woman
Reading Fifty Shades Darker on the elliptical

Hello TV airing Harry Connick Jr on his talk show
Hello TV airing Harry Connick Jr on his talk show
Who the hell would watch something like that?
I honestly don’t know
I have no idea why Harry Connick Jr has a talk show

Hello girl with a leotard on doing squats
Hello girl with a leotard on doing squats
If you’re not aware, the whole gym can see right up your twat
You may want to consider changing or not doing squats

There are so many interesting characters to see at the gym
There’s a guy with a neck tattoo of Alf, I’m glad I’m not him
There’s a chick with a stroller, her baby’s nowhere to be seen
And somebody just threw up on the rowing machine

Hello guy in the locker room blow-drying his balls
Hello guy in the locker room blow-drying his balls
You’re here every day
But I don’t think I’ve ever seen you work out at all
See you tomorrow, guy in the locker room
Blow-drying his balls

Goodbye former fat guy staring at me in the mirror
Goodbye former fat guy staring at me in the mirror
You’ve put in so much effort for the last couple years
You’ve pushed yourself so hard that it could bring you to tears
I think I’ll stop for pizza on the way home from here
Hello again former fat guy staring at me in the mirror
Good to see you again, former fat guy
Staring at me in the mirror

credits

from Chosen People Adjacent, released August 2, 2019

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Scott Gesser Phoenix, Arizona

I'm the guy who records all of this.

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