Buddy, you’ve been hounding me for an eternity
“When you gonna move in?
When you gonna get married?
When you gonna procreate, a bunch of nearsighted kids
Running into shit all over the place?”
Well, have I got news for you
This little orgy of one is turning into an orgy of two
And that’s the way it’s gonna stay until the day I die
And there’s a simple fucking reason why
We don’t wanna have any children
Sing it, we don’t wanna have any children
I can sleep in on the weekends
I can take a nap in the afternoon for no reason
Go ahead and tell me how I’m clearly missing out
On all the screaming and getting peed on
Zero is the number of times I’ve had to clean
Marker off the walls or vomit off my shirt
My songs might be my only legacy
But at least I’ll never have to stop them from eating dirt
We don’t wanna have any children
Yeah, we don’t wanna have any children
Hang on, you know what?
I’m not done yet
Traveling and bowling and going to the movies
And buying electronics and throwing axes
I can afford to do that stuff right now
Instead of claiming a dependent on my goddamn taxes
Two hundred twenty-six thousand dollars
To raise a kid from birth to seventeen and a half
That sounds a little bit steep
Besides, do you know how many puppies
I could buy with that?
We don’t wanna have any children
Sing it, you bastards
We’re not gonna have any children
I’m sorry that I called you bastards
Please stop asking when we’re gonna have children
Aw, one more time
We don’t wanna have any children
Tom Snowden, from Alice Springs, Australia, turns in six soft, Arthur Russell-y covers of favorites from Björk, Kylie Minogue, and more. Bandcamp New & Notable Oct 11, 2020
Recorded on the Grecian isle of Hydra, this is blissed-out psych pop with stacked falsetto harmonies and luscious arrangements. Bandcamp New & Notable Apr 9, 2023
Two dozen 12-string acoustic improvisations that feel undeniably haunting, like lost transmissions from ancient Appalachia, rediscovered. Bandcamp New & Notable Oct 17, 2022