I know we just started dating
But I'm changing my last name to yours
And I don't want you hangin' 'round other girls
Because they're all fucking whores
I've got a list of concrete things in my head
That I'm'a need you to do
To keep me from getting angry at you
But why on earth would I consider revealing
Anything that I'm feeling?
You should be able to know what you're dealing with
And every single goddamn day
Women behaving this way
And all that I have to say is bitches be cray
I know we can't afford a baby
But my biological clock is ticking
If you agree to get me pregnant
That's the only way I'm taking your dicking
And by the way, I took a look at your phone
While you were out of the room
Who's this "mom" lady that you've been talking to?
Hang on, I've got a call from my ex
You know he usually texts
This must be urgent, so let's take a rain check for sex
And if I say they're looking okay they get all up in my face
Asking how much I think that they weigh
'Cause bitches be cray / Bitches be c-c-c-cray
Now, I'm not saying that
It's every single woman who's irrational
'Cause that idea alone would be irrational too
But there are women who are furious
Because they think you're cheating
And the truth is the entire time they're cheating on you
They think the way that men behave
In any dumb romantic comedy
Is actually the way men should behave in real life
And if you totally believe your girlfriend isn't out to get you
And her jealousy and growing cat collection don't upset you
And you'd take her to a jewelry store
The moment that she'd let you
Then I wish you lots of luck with your insane fucking wife
I've got a list of names picked out
For when we have a little bundle of joy
I like the sound of Slobba-Bofa
'Cause it works if it's a girl or a boy
And I'll assume you've done something wrong
Because you bought me some flowers
And I can interrogate you for hours
I only want to be your very best friend
So you should tell all your other friends
That you're never going to see any of them ever again
I hope that you're all taking away
The point I've tried to convey
If you go into the fray, you better damn well obey
And in the meantime I'll pray that you will realize someday
That bitches be cray
Bitches be cray, cray, cray, cray, cray
Bitches be c-c-c-cray
But on the other hand they smell extremely nice
Now please let go of my balls
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