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Cute

from Revolter by Scott Gesser

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lyrics

I saw you staring at me from across a crowded room
Too far away to touch your skin or inhale your perfume
The moment that we first locked eyes
Sent shivers down my spine
At least I really hoped your gaze was actually set on mine
You pointed in my direction and I pointed at my shirt
When you crooked your finger back your way
I knew you were a flirt
I floated through the room as my heart swelled up to my jaw
And when I finally met you I couldn’t believe what I saw

You’re cute from far away
I’m going back across the room and that’s where I will stay
Because you’re cute from far away
I spent all that time eyeing you and wasted my whole day

I know it’s not your fault that you appear the way you do
But I’ve seen piles of cat shit that are prettier than you
If I had known you looked this way
I’d have bought a dozen roses
To hide your lazy, bloodshot eye and all three of your noses
Your cheeks all puffed up like a fish, your dirt-encrusted hair
I don’t know how you looked so hot when I was over there
Your brows drawn on with what appears to be a magic marker
Now I don’t know whether I should call PETA or Bob Barker

‘Cause you’re cute from far away
Your forehead’s covered up with cracks
Like a hunk of dried out clay
Somehow you’re cute from far away
No, I’ve never met somebody with a case of ear decay
But still you’re cute

Your lips so filled with collagen they’re like a balloon
You could pass for a caveman in a Far Side cartoon
Your neck so loose and wrinkly like a turkey’s waddle
For the life of me, I can’t comprehend
When I was on the other end
Of the room we’re in, you looked just like a motherfucking model

Well, we live in such a crazy world where love can be so fleeting
But in the case of you and I, it ended with us meeting
It’s really quite a shame your face committed such a crime
If it weren’t for proximity, I’d totally call you mine
Another time, another place, it might be in the cards
But here and now we’d have to be separated by ten yards
So go and find somebody else to whom you’ll make your passes
While you reel in another fool, I’m off to fix my glasses

‘Cause you’re cute from far away
It seems as if you should be let outside to eat some hay
Because you’re cute from far away
We could totally start dating if you moved off to Bombay
Dear lord, you’re cute from far away
I’m gonna head back home now, you can sit, roll over, stay
You’re fucking cute from far away
But if you hang out here than I’ll have to call the ASPCA
But still you’re cute from far away

credits

from Revolter, released January 7, 2022

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Scott Gesser Phoenix, Arizona

I'm the guy who records all of this.

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