Fifty Percent

from Orgy Of One by Scott Gesser

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lyrics

Ever since I first laid eyes on you
I could tell that you were special
I was trying to think of what I could say or do
To make you fall in love with me
I would lasso down the moon and bequeath the stars
If I thought that you would notice
But you'd have to be okay with sharing them
With the rest of my family
You see, my girl and I are polygamists
So I already know she'd be okay with this
I could give you all the love that you deserve
As long as I'm not giving it to her

So kiss me even though I've got her lip gloss on my teeth
'Cause I swear on everything I can think of
I can be your man and give you fifty percent of my love

You could be my girl on Tuesdays, Thursdays
And every other weekend
The remainder of the time you could move your stuff
Into the back of my guest house
It may seem a little weird sharing all that space
But the chores get done way faster
And I think you and my girl are around the same height
So you could wear each other's blouse
I'll need a list of your favorite things
A reminder that I'll keep track of in a three-ring binder
Then I'll buy you flowers and fancy cakes
But I won't have the wrong ones by mistake

So kiss me, I've got a spot for you reserved on my left cheek
We can soar like doves with an additional dove
I'll commit to you and give you fifty percent of my love

And when it's time for us to lay down and embrace
I can totally try to do that thing you like
While she sits on my face
Because there's nothing more important
Than making sure you're satisfied
And afterwards you can snuggle
Specifically on my left side

Full disclosure, while I was singing to you
I may have sight my sights on another girl too
So now the ratio has been slightly diluted
That's assuming you still want to be included

So kiss me since I probably won't see you for half a week
But if you look in your heart you'll understand it's enough
To get thirty-three point three percent of my love

credits

from Orgy Of One, released November 3, 2017

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Scott Gesser Phoenix, Arizona

I'm the guy who records all of this.

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