Freudian Slip | Scott Gesser

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Freudian Slip

from Medium Pimpin' by Scott Gesser

	/

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lyrics

You're always texting me
But I can't understand a word you're saying
In an emergency I still can't comprehend what you're relaying
'Cause you're trying to explain
That I should meet you for dinner
But it comes out ass-backwards and mostly misspelled
And the message says that I should make you a doghouse
And I'm left sitting there thinking, "What in the hell?"

Your SMS messages are driving me crazy
And it won't be too long 'til I officially flip
Because you never correct them and you might just be lazy
Or maybe everything you send is actually a Freudian slip

Sure, they've invented Swype
To make it easier to send a message
I don't believe the hype
'Cause all of your haikus are just depressin'
You're all, "Hey taco milk fart, Magneto in diapers"
And then I'm supposed to get a meaning from that
I've spent hours upon hours just trying to decipher
The one where you told me you hooked up with your cat

Your SMS messages are driving me crazy
They're the modern-day version of bad penmanship
What the fuck do you mean by "I've been eating a baby"?
Perhaps that messed up thing you said
Is actually a Freudian slip

I wonder if you even know what you're doing
When you try to send a message to me
'Cause typing "wood hooking" over and over
Isn't something I'd anticipate
From someone with a college degree
And every time I see my notification light blinking
I don't know what I should expect
Whether you're cleaning your bowels
Or just a series of vowels
And you don't even have an iPhone
So you can't blame it on auto-correct
Aw, auto-correct, mother-ducking auto-correct

I could fill up a book with all your malapropisms
And I get that your phone is new and frightening to you
But I feel like you might need a good exorcism
When you say in all caps that you're beheading the Jews

Your SMS messages are driving me crazy
Your texting privileges need to be revoked
You're ranting about eggplants, and then Patrick Swayze
And I really would like some of whatever you've smoked
Yeah, your SMS messages are driving me crazy
And I'm wondering if you're waiting for the mothership
You accidentally sent me a donation to Haiti
Or maybe everything you send is actually a Freudian slip
So many Freudian slips
Maybe you should just talk with your lips
Yeah, maybe everything you send is actually a Freudian

credits

from Medium Pimpin', released September 22, 2015

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Scott Gesser Phoenix, Arizona

I'm the guy who records all of this.

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