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Gay Chicken

from Admiral Vanilla by Scott Gesser

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lyrics

Gather 'round now, boys and girls
We're going to play a game
And by the time we're done with it
You'll never be the same
A contest, if you will
Designed to test your mental limits
It might go on four hours
But sometimes it's only minutes
More strategy then Battleship and Monopoly combined
It's going to blow your mind
When you're blowing someone from behind

Oh, Gay Chicken
Oh, Gay Chicken

It starts with intense eye contact and licking of the lips
Then it keeps on progressing until one contender slips
A kiss leads to a tickle
Leads to grabbing someone's crotch
And everyone's uncomfortable
It's really fun to watch
There's more suspense than Jenga
And more mystery than Clue
You won't know what to do
When they're ironically pursuing you

Before you all get mad at me
Because this song is not PC
You can apply the stuff I've said
To play a game of straight chicken instead

I have competed in Gay Chicken before
And there's no straight boy alive
Who can upset my score
There's guys massaging my shoulders
Soon they're rubbing my back
Won't be long 'til we're making out
While they're fondling my sack
Whether rimjob or handjob, I'm'a get the job done
I won't act like I'm creeped out until I'm number one
I've been training for decades and I'll fight to the finish
I'll compete for America at the Gay Chicken Olympics
So keep on comin' up behind me
Keep on shakin' your cocks
If there were Gay Chicken Wheaties
I'd be the fucker on the box
You know I'm not backing down and I'll never give in
I'll even take it in the ass if that's what it takes to win
Playin’

Yeah, if you believe, my friends, you can achieve
You can even marry Mary
But still mess around with Steve
And when I'm old and gray and I can no longer play
If you put your mind to it
If you put your behind to it
If you're so inclined to it, then you can be my protégé

credits

from Admiral Vanilla, released November 5, 2013

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Scott Gesser Phoenix, Arizona

I'm the guy who records all of this.

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