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Goodnight, Little One

from Hand To God by Scott Gesser

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lyrics

Now I lay me down to have insomnia and stir
And toss and turn for endless hours
‘Cause my life has been a blur
A torn-up tapestry of zealous
Ne’er-do-wells compelled to sell us
On ideas that those who experience hell
Are unable to tell us
And life is like a toilet paper roll
The further you get, the faster it goes
Nobody comes out with the scent of a rose
And where it stops, well, nobody knows
And so I cannot reconcile not sleeping in
I’m busy conditioning myself to fear the end
When I should be out making that shit begin

Goodnight little one, sleep tight

I am not afraid of dying, I’m afraid of dying alone
To relinquish to nobody all the shit I happen to own
I don’t condone looking for something that isn’t there
Something not hovering in the air
But when laid bare in my own despair
I suppose that I’d rather be sort of prepared
But now I’m awake and it’s 5am
And I’m thinking of family I used to have
The quotes that I never wrote
From dear old mom and dad
But I remember every single thing
Every single person said
They looked me dead in the eye
And they told me the only perfect people are dead

This is where it starts to get a little bit out of hand
I’m on my knees beside my bedside
For my backup-backup-backup plan
I’m not addressing anyone in particular
I’m just afraid to pull up from the mattress
And lay in the bed I’ve made
And now I still have wicked dreams
Of you flying out from in between the seams
It’s kind of like my own personalized brand of PTSD
And then I wake up in a cold sweat
And it’s back to counting sheep
But that only means I’m counting on myself
‘Cause I can’t fucking sleep

credits

from Hand To God, released December 20, 2019

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Scott Gesser Phoenix, Arizona

I'm the guy who records all of this.

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