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How Come?

from Revolter by Scott Gesser

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lyrics

How come every time somebody gives you a blowjob
As soon as they finish, they want to give you a kiss?
How come you can dab and dab and dab with toilet paper
But when you zip your pants up, you’re still dribbling piss?
How come when you finally get over your insomnia
The asshole stuck behind you has to lay on his horn?
And how come when you let somebody use your computer
The last thing you looked at is always tentacle porn?

How come the rain slowly falls?
How come a night can go so well
But still end with blue balls?
And how come the sky is blue?
And how come
How come I don’t have you?

How come when you’re in the ten-items-or-less lane
There’s an idiot in front of you who couldn’t read the sign?
How come the only time I ever get picked out of a crowd
Is when I’m in a police lineup for a horrible crime?
How come when you finally meet somebody who’s beautiful
It’s on a day that you forgot to bring your chloroform rags?
And how come the Eskimos have a hundred words for “snow”
But I can’t a decent way to say “I have crabs”?

How come the birds always sing?
How come you never get into my butterfly fuck swing?
And how come the clouds are gray?
And how come
How come you’ve gone away?

There are so many mysteries
That haven’t been put to rest
Like why you always close the blinds
Before you get undressed
How come getting tasered
Sometimes only hurts your pride?
And how come voodoo never works
At least not when I’ve tried?

How come you say things to me like “Get away, loser”
When you clearly wanted me to follow you across the border?
How come there seems to be a barrier between us?
At least that’s what I’m getting out of this restraining order

How come the leaves are all green?
And “fifty yards or greater”
Tell me, what does that really mean?
I guess that it must be true
But how come
How come I can’t have you?

And how come hookers are so expensive?

credits

from Revolter, released January 7, 2022

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Scott Gesser Phoenix, Arizona

I'm the guy who records all of this.

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