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lyrics

Hey, I want to hook up with you
And then I never want to see you again
Hey, I absolutely like you
But I think that we'd be better as friends
Hey, do you want to be exclusive?
Well, I don't, I was just asking for fun
Hey, thanks for buying me dinner
But there's this guy I want to fuck so I really better run

That's the logic of the women that I've met

Hey, I kinda think I love you
But I'd love you more if you'd never call
Hey, I think that we should hang out
But I'll never be available at all
Oh hey, I'd want to be your girlfriend
If I weren't already seeing someone
Oh hey, I would totally fuck you
But I'm working on becoming a nun

In dealing with these fucking girls
There's no way I can win
I've tried my hardest to get out
But they keep on pulling me back in
What's so great about a vagina anyway?
It's just a patch of wrinkled skin
And yet I keep on chasing it
And I keep on embracing it
It'd be so amazing if I could just become gay for a bit
But being a gay isn't a choice
And neither is being a straight

So they say hey, I think that you're amazing
The greatest catch there ever could be
One day, you'll find the perfect woman
But that woman sure as shit isn't me
Oh, hey, you're like a fucking Adonis
If Adonis couldn't get pussy for squat
Hey, I'll literally date anyone in the whole wide world
Except for anybody named Scott
You motherfuckers

That's the logic of the women that I've met
Maybe I should go celibate
Yes, that's the logic of the women that I've met
I wish I could just switch-hit
Some fucking logic of the women that I've met
The women that I've met
The stupid asshole women that I've met

credits

from Admiral Vanilla, released November 5, 2013

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Scott Gesser Phoenix, Arizona

I'm the guy who records all of this.

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