Marriage Is Hard | Scott Gesser

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Marriage Is Hard

from Revolter by Scott Gesser

	/

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lyrics

One, two, I do

All my life I have been told
That sustaining matrimony is the toughest thing to do
But I’ve been married for a while
And I’ve mostly just developed a conflicting point of view
Like maybe being wed isn’t made for everyone
But compared to being single it’s a hell of a lot more fun

Oh no, I have somebody to help me pay my rent
Marriage is hard
Oh no, I’ll never get a fake phone number again
Marriage is hard

All my in-laws send me cards for my birthday
And other than that they stay out of my life
Very little else has changed
Besides the fact that I get way more mileage
Out of the word “wife”
What a drag to have someone who makes me dinner
And the ring I’ve got is basically a metal fidget spinner

Oh no, I’m with someone who wants to take a nap
Marriage is hard
Oh no, I never deal with the people on dating apps
Marriage is hard

All these people sounding like a broken record
All lamenting how their partner’s like a goddamn Disney villain
But it seems to work out pretty well when you’re with someone
On the same wavelength about religion, politics and children
It’s almost like it was worth it not to sign a binding contract
With the first person who wanted to see me naked
To conform with societal standards to marry by a certain age
So I’d be trapped inside a failure and have kids to try and save it
Fuck that

What a bummer it must be to be committed
To a person who you actually kind of hate
I can see the little jabs couples lobby at each other
Every time we double date
Just remember when you criticize the stupid shit they do
You’re the one who picked them
So that doesn’t say much for you

Oh no, I guess I’m done pretending I’ve got game
Marriage is hard
Oh no, I can’t believe I have to share my last name
Marriage is hard, so hard
Oh no, someone to vent to when my work day sucks
Marriage is hard
Oh no, I’ve got a roommate who’s also down to fuck
Marriage is hard, so hard

credits

from Revolter, released January 7, 2022

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Scott Gesser Phoenix, Arizona

I'm the guy who records all of this.

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