We’ve updated our Terms of Use to reflect our new entity name and address. You can review the changes here.
We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

Netflix And Chill

from Chosen People Adjacent by Scott Gesser

/
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    Purchasable with gift card

      $1 USD  or more

     

lyrics

You know, sometimes a fly honey comes over to your crib
Thinkin’ one thing’s gonna happen
But that ain’t what’s going on at all, baby

Girl, I’ve been waiting so long
To get you over to my place so we could hang out
I lit some candles just to set the mood
So we could curl up with each other in the middle of the couch
I know I said I’d put on Netflix
And we could turn on any program that you want to watch
But just imagine my surprise when
Twenty minutes into Bojack you start reaching for my crotch

Girl, this is not why I invited you to come here
I figured we would just watch Kimmy Schmidt
And drink some beer
You know I’m sure that you could give me quite a thrill
But I literally want to Netflix and chill
I’m not that kind of guy, Netflix and chill

Hey, I even made us popcorn
That we could snack on during Mystery Science Theater
So you can see why it’s annoying
That you keep grinding on me
While I’m watching Making A Murderer
How can I focus on Stranger Things
If you keep shoving your tits directly in my face?
I’m really starting to question
What your motivation is for coming over in the first place

Girl, I admit that what you’re doing is making me hot
But there’s no way that you could blow me
And still follow the plot
That would take an insane amount of skill
It would be so much easier to Netflix and chill
That’s really more how I Netflix and chill

When you said that you were bored
You tried to drag me to bed
I just figured that we’d switch over to Hulu instead
I should have asked you to leave then changed the locks
When you pulled off your dress and grabbed my hand
And shoved it in your Bird Box

Why the hell’d you bring a condom
To what I very clearly stated was a kickback?
And then you tried to jerk me off to
One of those lesbian shower scenes
In Orange Is The New Black
I was so hopeful when you finally said
That you’d put on your favorite show and stop harassing me
But then you clicked over to Fuller House
And so I grabbed your stuff and threw you out immediately

This night turned out to be a massive waste of my time
Assault is bad enough but Fuller House is crossing the line
I can’t believe that you would watch that kind of swill
I’ll never have you over again to Netflix and chill
I’ll give you thirteen reasons why, Netflix and chill
I would rather watch Queer Eye, Netflix and chill
I kind of hope you fucking die, Netflix and chill

credits

from Chosen People Adjacent, released August 2, 2019

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

Scott Gesser Phoenix, Arizona

I'm the guy who records all of this.

contact / help

Contact Scott Gesser

Streaming and
Download help

Redeem code

Report this track or account

If you like Scott Gesser, you may also like: