This year has been all right, I guess
This year was busy and just a little strange
Each year I just hope for the best
But this year is ending, and it’s time to make a change
Some people want to lose some weight
And others try to quit smoking, uh huh
That’s not the way that I evolve
And when it’s time that I resolve
I only want to do one thing
I want to eat more pussy over the course of next year
I want to eat more pussy, I’d be grinning ear to ear
If I could eat more pussy I’d be the talk of the town
And I would be the answer
When the question is, “What’s going down?”
This year was mostly just a blur
This year was spent between those lows and those highs
But next year I’ll put my tongue to work
And I’ll spend all my time between somebody’s thighs
I’ll never wear a hat again
With all those legs astride my head, uh huh
Whether from behind or right in front
As long as it’s not that time of the month
‘Cause man, would my face be red
I want to eat more pussy ‘cause I can’t get enough
I want to eat more pussy, plus it’s kosher and stuff
If I could eat more pussy, I would never ignore it
I’d be down there so long that I could fill out a W-2 for it
Yes, I could spend all year just licking vaginas
I’d spend more time in those caves than some Chilean miners
All you Catholics and Jews, all you Muslims and Mormons
I’ll get your bedspreads wetter than post-Katrina New Orleans
Every time you look down, you’ll see my face in your lap
I’ll pap smear you so long that you’ll run out of pap
And if you find my persona to be a bit out of place
Personality is important but you can’t ride its face
I want to eat more pussy for as long as it’s wet
I want to eat more pussy so I can practice the alphabet
If I could eat more pussy then that’s all I’d ever need
And it’d finally be a very, very, very, very, very, very
Happy new year indeed
Happy new year to me, oh
I’d like to point out that nowhere in this song
Did I say anything about a mustache ride
You know why? Because I like to keep it classy
That’s why
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