Wake up in the morning, rub the sleep out of my eyes
Put on the coffee and wait for it to perk
Take a nice long shower and brush my pearly whites
Smoke a little bit of crack, then it's time to go to work
Drivin' down the highway, listening to the radio
Traffic's backed up, hope I won't be too late
Pull into the parking garage with minutes left to go
Take another hit of crack, and I'm at my desk by eight
And I read through all my emails
And check up on my stocks
It's a lovely day, and life is great
In fact, it crack rocks
Lunch time's coming and I don't know what to eat
I don't have any appetite but I guess a meal couldn't hurt
Walk down to the bakery 'cause I'm craving something sweet
Two more hits of crack cocaine and a cupcake for dessert
Got a big meeting, gotta get my Power Point together
But first I'm gonna clean the baseboards
And do a hundred jumping jacks
Then I stare out the window
At the gorgeous summer weather
And it really makes me think, hey, I could use some crack
My boss says that he's proud of me
'Cause I think outside the box
It's a lovely day, and life is great
In fact, it crack rocks
I feel amazing like there's nothing that can hold me back
Maybe it's the season or the song in my heart
On second thought, it's probably the crack
My coworker Maurice is thinking happy hour for us
I say I can't make it but I thank him just the same
I know he's just being nice to me so he can gain my trust
Then the second I turn my back, he'll steal all my cocaine
Driving back home now, stopping at the Radio Shack
Pick up a new mouse pad and a pack of batteries too
Then I slip into the alley so that I can buy more crack
Then I gotta take off so I can catch the new episode of SVU
And I forgot that I took my car there
So I've gotta run a couple blocks
But it's a lovely day, and life is great
In fact, it crack rocks
Finally get to my house, my front door is unlocked
When I walk into my living room, I'm met with a surprise
All my family and friends are there
And they look pretty shocked
My dad holds up a crack pipe and my mom just sort of cries
Daddy says, "Hey son, what's the meaning of this?
You got a house full of cocaine and expect us not to care?"
I say, "Sorry everybody, I didn't mean to make you pissed"
Mom says, "If we knew you were holding
We would've asked you to share"
And I'll tell you
It just goes to show that nothing's as it seems
Life is so much more than a series of crack pipe dreams
And you might think I'm crazy
Yeah, crazy like a fox
It's a lovely day, and life is great
In fact, it crack rocks
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