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She's A Ginger

from Chosen People Adjacent by Scott Gesser

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lyrics

When she walks down the street she’s turning heads
All the boys on the corner, they leer and heckle
At her bright green eyes, all big and soulless
And her body covered up with a bunch of freckles
Every time she comes around everybody stares
At her ivory complexion and monochrome lips
But they can’t look right at her ‘cause her Irish tan
Is gonna burn through their retinas like an eclipse
She’s got the potential to get a little violent
If you call her by the name that stems from Gilligan’s Island

She’s a ginger, yes, she’s a ginger
And when she comes along
You know she’s gonna make the scene
And everywhere she goes
She’s just one big recessive gene
She’s covered in sunscreen ‘cause she’s a ginger

She could be a body double for Carrot Top
Or maybe an assistant for a supermodel
But she spends a lot of time being pissed about
The girls who get their red hair from out of a bottle
Now, she still gotta look her very best
She’s got a clutch full of blush and a ton of mascara
But she can’t put on too much or else
She’s gonna look like David Bowie from the Ziggy era
She’s mostly happy with her oranges and reds
‘Cause she’d look like the little mermaid
If she cut off both her legs

She’s a ginger, oh what a ginger
And when she goes out on the town
The guys can’t keep from flirtin’
Asking her ad nauseum if the carpet matches the curtains
All they know for certain’s she’s a ginger

Time for obligatory na na na na nas

She carries an umbrella with her at all times
She’s got the melanin levels of a sick albino
Then she ends up getting sunburned anyway
And if you ask her why, she’ll say, “Hell if I know”
No doubt in her mind that she’s something special
She’s the product of hereditary mutation
But she’s living her life to the fullest because
Her kind is gonna die out in a few generations
Not all redheads are alike, they’re hard to pigeonhole
But it’s still common knowledge
That they’ll steal your fucking soul

She’s a ginger, she’s quite a ginger
She rarely goes out in the sun
But when she does, she’s squintin’
She’s fun like the Mythbusters guys
And weird like Tilda Swinton
She’s a ginger, the biggest ginger
And when she hits the floor
You’re gonna notice every detail
And every day she thanks the lord
That she was born a female
She’s really goddamn pale ‘cause she’s a ginger

Some more obligatory na na na na na
Perfunctory na na na na na
Unnecessary na na na na nas

credits

from Chosen People Adjacent, released August 2, 2019

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Scott Gesser Phoenix, Arizona

I'm the guy who records all of this.

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