That awkward moment when you walk into some cobwebs
And it looks like you're giving a Nazi salute
That awkward moment when you trip over a homeless guy
And now you've got a stain on your new Ugg boot
That awkward moment when you hold a physics lecture
But you're deaf and so no one can understand you
That awkward moment during breakfast with your parents
And they let it slip that they had never planned you
That awkward moment when you text someone
But they never respond so you keep texting them
Forgetting that they're stuffed into your car trunk
That awkward moment
That awkward moment when your waiter says, "Enjoy your food"
And you respond by saying "Suck my cock"
That awkward moment when you hold the door for someone
And they grab you and fellate you on the sidewalk
That awkward moment when you
Tell your friend the drugs are kicking in
Except your friend's imaginary
That awkward moment when you feed your lover cherries
And she dies because she's allergic to cherries
That awkward moment in the middle of an argument
You realize that you're wrong
So now you have to kill that person with a hammer
Baby, I want you to understand that it's all right
We all have those awkward moments from time to time
Sometimes you'll be sitting there
Smoking a pipe in an easy chair
And you'll suddenly recall that you're in the middle of
Burglarizing that house where you're at
What could be more awkward than that?
That awkward moment when you ask if someone's pregnant
And it turns out that she just had an abortion
That awkward moment when you give your friend five dollars
And then accidentally sue him for extortion
That awkward moment when you wake up with a boner
And you're sitting in the middle of a school bus
That awkward moment when you're pushing forty-seven
So what the fuck are you doing on a school bus?
That awkward moment when you realize that
Starting a sentence with "That awkward moment"
Technically turns it into a sentence fragment
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