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The Tinder Song

from Medium Pimpin' by Scott Gesser

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lyrics

I'm tired of checking out Match.com
'Cause it's too expensive to look
And I'm not unique enough for Geek 2 Geek
Hell, I don't even own a single book
I'm not a Christian single
And I'm not Jewish enough for J-date
And I don't want to kiss the people on Craigslist
'Cause I can't tell if they're real or fake
E-Harmony is stupid and so is OK Cupid
I don't really want a relationship
I just want to hook up when I feel like it

So I got myself a Tinder account
And said farewell to romance
And now wherever I go, right away I know
If someone wants to get into my pants

Now, whenever I turn that app on
It fulfills my every wish
In a couple of minutes I can get all up in it
Try getting that done on Plenty Of Fish
I don't need to be Prince Charming
No, I only need to be nearby
And if someone says that I'm a match
I can spend that night between her thighs
You might call me a slut, and to that I say "So what?"
If some random lady wants to sit on me
Who gives a damn about compatibility?

Yes, I love this lovely Tinder account
And I feel like I'm always in luck
'Cause I don't have the patience for a conversation
To find out if a girl is down to fuck

And I'm always getting updates and reminders
And I light up when I hear that notification ring
Ding-a-ling
Just make sure you don't accidentally use Grindr
Unless, you know, you're into that kind of thing

Oh, I'm obsessed with my new Tinder account
I'm amazed at what it can do
So next time I'm in your neck of the woods
I might stick my dick in you, oh yeah
I might stick my dick in you, yee-haw
If Tinder says you want me to
Well, I might just stick my dick into you, yeah

credits

from Medium Pimpin', released September 22, 2015

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Scott Gesser Phoenix, Arizona

I'm the guy who records all of this.

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