When I was a youngster, so tiny and small
I was hung like a Tic-Tac, couldn't see it at all
Now that I'm a grown man, it's the same damn size
Feels like there ain't nothin' in between my thighs
I got two inches of fury in my pants
Let me tell you
Some guys get lucky, well-endowed and hung
But you can't even tell now when I get sprung
I would try the enhancers but I feel too ashamed
All the ads on the porn sites address me by name
I got two inches of fury in my pants
Now, if I go on a date, the action stops before it starts
'Cause you gotta have a magnifying glass
To see my private parts
I can't get it up, can't get on up
I can't get it up, can't get on up
I can't get it up, can't get on up
I can't get it up now, woo
The head looks like a birthmark and there ain't no shaft
Once I took my shorts off and a Ken doll laughed
Only need two fingers when I masturbate
Every time I get a boner, somehow I lose weight
I got two inches of fury in my pants
They say that size doesn't matter
But I think they might be liars
Why can't we just focus on the depth of the vagina?
When I wanna get down now with a really hot chick
Don't you know, I gotta warn her about the size of my dick
Gotta give her the very best of my pick up lines
Girl, you want ten inches?
Well, then I'll fuck you five times
Now, I barely even get me a passing glance
Don't you know, it's so hard to be the king of romance
'Cause there ain't no woman gonna take a chance
On a guy who's pecker looks like it was made for ants
I got two inches of fury in my pants
Help me out, now
Good gawd
Tom Snowden, from Alice Springs, Australia, turns in six soft, Arthur Russell-y covers of favorites from Björk, Kylie Minogue, and more. Bandcamp New & Notable Oct 11, 2020
Recorded on the Grecian isle of Hydra, this is blissed-out psych pop with stacked falsetto harmonies and luscious arrangements. Bandcamp New & Notable Apr 9, 2023
Two dozen 12-string acoustic improvisations that feel undeniably haunting, like lost transmissions from ancient Appalachia, rediscovered. Bandcamp New & Notable Oct 17, 2022