1. |
So Long, Subtlety
03:30
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I took a long while to find you here
A thousand lifetimes miring in fear
You bend so perfect like evening trees
Up on a platform yet under me
If you ever come back, please wake me up
‘Cause I won’t get up on my own
I don’t feel like I’m asleep anymore
I don’t feel like it’s a dream anymore
By heaven’s gambit I may have won
Or flown awry now, close to the sun
So long to signals and chemistry
So long charisma and subtlety
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2. |
Tinfoil Knight
03:32
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Take a chance, leave your mark
Don’t forget to tell your heart where you’re going
You fly around overhead like a savior
But you dread overthrowing
As you slink into your hole you give up all control
That was never yours to win
Are you all right or is this just another incident
Of charming delight as you kneel beside the fire?
Tinfoil knight all dolled up, an innovator hoping never to fight
‘Cause you know you’re nothing more than a liar
Will you never climb the tower
Getting darker by the hour, what you doing?
You clasp your hands with regret over everyone
Who met with their ruin
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3. |
Closer To The Buzz
02:35
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Wasting time as I’m about to blow my mind, I’m fine
Spinning, trying to find a place I can call mine
Yes, I confess I’m such a mess, help me get dressed
I guess I’m headed for success by staying here nevertheless
Open wide, there’s a place I see inside
Where nothing’s quite the way it ever was
I don’t care, I’m there
As long as I get closer to the buzz
Hear the neighbor scream her labor
But I paid, she owes me a favor
I could hate her but I’m lazy so I’ll do that later
I’m not dumb, well, yeah I’m dumb
But I don’t care where it comes from
If I get some then I’ll be running ‘til I’m finally done
Open wide, all I need to do is hide
Where nothing’s quite the way it ever was
I don’t care, I swear I’m there
A little closer to the buzz
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4. |
Alive (Not That One)
02:57
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Put the pen to paper, don’t let it slip away
Furiously wield your brush as if your life’s at stake
Your synapses are firing so leap into the fray
And now you’re flowing, you’re a poet
And I can’t wait to see when you happen to show it
Magical tragedy, gorgeous catastrophe
Ignorant masterpiece
Marvelous, terrible, beautiful horror
This perfect disaster is making me feel alive
Pull back the curtain, relinquish all your fears
The people gathering around, they can’t hold back their tears
They see the messages beneath the sleek veneer
The whole world is waiting, captivating
Every bid coming in only yours for the taking
The years all fall behind, now you’re a household name
We’re better for it, we adore it
And there’s nobody better to blame
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5. |
Impostor Syndrome
04:13
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Another round of impostor syndrome
Everybody isn’t staring at me
Weighed down by nothing for the world to speak of
And yet heavier than concrete
It’s a miracle at this point that I’m standing
Zero out of ten, I just can’t fit into
The puzzle they’re demanding
And I can make a lot of noise
But my insides are ready to bust, ready to bust on me
There’s some excitement of newness and wonder
But all of it sinks to the back
A universal party of one
To stagger on a brand new panic attack
All the manufactured tension flows right through me
All the plans I’ve made toppled by a charade
In my brain, my own undoing
How can anybody believe?
So many operatives I’m bound to deceive
I was only born to stress and aggrieve
And the fear keeps crowding up and up and up in me
And the people all around don’t seem to notice
How I’m overwrought, I’m a fraud, so flawed
Standing firm that they all know this
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6. |
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I’ve seen you live close to forty times
And you always look nonplussed
Like you’re waiting for the bus
And oh, is the life you always wanted?
And oh, is it too much to not feel haunted?
Don’t even smolder when the room is on fire
What you gonna do when they sing your song?
Dragging out chords as they hum along, well la la
What you gonna do when the day is long?
Gritting your teeth when they get it wrong, well la la
You pluck the bass with a vacant face
Dreaming of when you retire
Couldn’t be quelled by Arcade Fire
And oh, do you find yourself endearing?
And oh, at least the lead singer is sneering
Last nite she said, “You’re the reason I’m down”
Oh, the world has nothing left to teach you
Oh, I wouldn’t dare to meet and greet you
You almost look like you’re having a stroke, get it?
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7. |
Kool-Aid
02:49
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I’m glad you all could make it
Through the hail this season brings around us
A cheery disposition
Toasting to the one of those that found us
And I know it’s a bit unorthodox
But that’s our luck, we’re often stuck
In dreams of Benzedrine before we go
The robes we don abruptly
Signaling the end of the beginning
A sweetened black concoction
Offering the chance to go on living
As the lights flash and the hazy eyes go dim
We moan a hymn, it’s all for him
The idol shucking off his winter coat
A cavity, deep mining
Moving on to multitudes of wonder
Yet only one remains now
Far cry from the former seven hundred
And I knew there was nothing left to gain
And so we lost, we turned and tossed
In dreams of Benzedrine before we go
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8. |
Punkrod Song
03:39
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I was born in a lift, thinking to myself
“Oh boy, here it goes again”
I fought them off one by one
By the time I was done it was a quarter to ten
If I was better alone you’d never let me know
Somehow you grip me like a vice
But I’m the one who can’t let go
You only love me when I’m petrified
When I’m electrified for you
You only need me when I’m dead inside
Into the dread I dive for you
A dagger pierced through my heart
Lord, I’m certain your bark is so much worse than your bite
Fever dreams in my bed, echoed words in my head
“You know, your mother was right”
A welcome truly spurned, I’ve got so much to learn
But I keep shaking off the dust and jumping back in the urn
Consciousness seeping in as the sliver of moonlight
Reflects on my face, oh you know
Fortune favors the bold, or so I’ve been told
That’s why I’m hunting for change
When I’m not afraid anymore, I’ve got what I came here for
I’ll be your perfect little whore
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9. |
The Floor Is Lava
02:43
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As a child it was instilled in me from day one
That an adult is the safest tree to hug
In any given situation but now I’m one of those
And there’s no limit to what I don’t know
I wouldn’t look to me for any guidance
Regardless of what I have always been told
The floor is lava
It’s been lava this whole time
I pledge allegiance to the flag
Of the United States of America
With my hand on my heart knowing full damn well
That the government could be trusted
And yet it’s never held up in the least
We’re in the belly of the beast
If their constituents would crack a smile
Our skulls would pile up at their feet
The only thing I learned in school
Is a blaringly obvious golden rule
That everyone would rather swallow
Cyanide than choose to follow
Jump from the couch to the table to the shelf
Jump back to the couch and don’t hurt yourself
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10. |
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She stands by the window watching for her cab
Keeps on eyeing the letter nestled in her bag
She turns back to her condo one final time
An authoritative nod is her only goodbye
She’s speeding away now to someplace new
To find original notions of another worldview
Her fingers, they idle but she hardly can wait
Upon her arrival she learns that it’s absolutely never too late
Whether wealth or health or bygone romances
Are the ever-present bane of your life
The university of second chances
Will make sure you learn your lesson this time
He’s starting a new life pushing fifty-one
A widower spurned by his fully-grown son
And now every single mistake has caught up in spades
But he’s ready to run it back
And he knows that he’s making the grade
Life is an open-book test, course-correct
Pencils down now, pencils down now
Answers on the back of your hand, what did you get?
Pencils down now, pencils down now
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11. |
Better Than Anyone
03:16
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You needed someone to treat you right
You needed someone to be your window
Into the swirls of the lazy eyes
A pile of crosses where the hammer won’t sit down
I can be better than anyone, better than anyone
Another night when the record don’t play
Another night leaning on fast forward
And time skips over day by day
The open shriek and the needle don’t set down
It’s a subtle crack leavening, I know, but don’t let it go
When the heart attacks through the radio, don’t let it go
If there’s a lock and key’s long gone
If there’s a key but you don’t know what for
Microaggressions, they linger on
I can’t promise but I’ll promise on the way down
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12. |
Minimalism
03:14
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There goes the watch, there go the clothes
I don’t need any more of those
Your presence is no longer required
Every single one of you is fired
Exorcise the demons that have plagued this place
They say you can’t get something for nothing
And maybe they’re right
So I’ll take nothing and give up something tonight
Throw out the table and the chairs
Can’t reconcile the memories there
The knick-knacks from the trips we once took
The notes you used to hide in my book
Soon the apartment looks like new
Swept clean of everything
That brings a recollection of you
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