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Sister, Warrior

by Scott Gesser

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1.
2.
Well, I found proof that you’re aloof When the world passes you by And I’m amazed by the haze and that you don’t even try To get away from the fray that’s cluttering your mind All alone, on your own You’ve run out of things to hide Someday tides come in and somehow lives begin When someone burns the town, everybody lies down I’m feeling stuck and out of luck When you come for your prey And nothing’s here, you’re in the clear Don’t waste another day This is a joke so go for broke the minute that you can I won’t ignore because I’m sure you’ve found another man I’m upset about all this I never thought there’d be a change in you And it turns out without a doubt The plans I’ve made have sorely fallen through And I won’t sit and wait, no, no I will not sit and wait And light my cigarette, no, no I will not sit and wait
3.
Why are you so toothless? Sucking down your pudding that remains ever-proofless Wait until you wake up in a cold, cold sweat But the flood of regret has not set in yet Starving for attention, how it hurts Filling up on your just desserts now Leaving, ain’t no one grieving I’m not trying to berate you, I’m succeeding How do I hate thee? Let me count the ways, let me count the ways This could go on for days and days and days and days What’s your sign? I bet it’s “kick me” Strutting like a high-tailed, yowling pygmy Figuratively spit in the melee Sideways glancing as if you’re Pele You need to believe, to hold onto the dream To the cheese in your cream, to the fans that ain’t screaming Listen, in your position you’re missing Give my regard to the wind you piss in Why? Believe everything I say
4.
I like the way that you wake up You’re like the summer in my cup You float around clutching your crooked spine I like the mood you put me in It nestles gently on my chin I feel obliterated all the time The light is flashing on the message machine Why do I own one of them? It’s 2017 I’m in a panic but it’s only a dream And when you swing into view it becomes too hard to scream I like the writing on the wall That gives the chips a place to fall And I beam proudly at it, satisfied I like this convoluted mess The sound when my head meets my desk And how you pick up all the shards I’ve tried You’re gonna do whatever you want And whatever you want is what I want
5.
There’s only one sky in every direction We all breathe together all at the same time It seems like a trick, it’s almost too perfect But it can’t hold a candle to the look in your eyes But if you try to believe in the orbit you bleed You could sense a disturbance between you and me And if there’s something to breathe while I’m down on my knees Then the sky that it falls from is what we can’t see There’s only one sky hovering above us No one knows where the end lay or where it begins The world rattles on as if punching a timeclock But still we unravel and nobody wins There’s only one sky with all permutations Driving us faster, driving us nowhere Driving us crazy with the notion That we’re gaining on something
6.
Ugh, Gawd 03:14
I spat upon the waking thought Of not knowing what to wake for, ugh, gawd And I exalt everything I’ve done Without paying mistakes forward, ugh, gawd I’m only with the ones you told me were full of light Refracted, lonely and shook up, sprawling all sugar sprites And the phony extract they showed me was almost right But I guess you know me so I’m stuck bellowing into the night I tried to stare around the screen A side effect of not sleeping, ugh, gawd And I’m not about to blow the dream Though I’m not sure if I’m dreaming, ugh, gawd I rocked the room all full of sins Collected my paycheck and bailed, ugh, gawd And I won’t hesitate to turn it in To a framed example to impale, ugh, gawd Well, you should have told me
7.
Falls to joy for the years that bound Beats the fear leaving all men struggling I suspect we could be consumed As we pray for the long long nothing Such a craze that my hair stands up Watch the curls of my child mind gulping You and I could play catch-up now As we stray for the long long nothing I know you like when I substantiate The way you’re feeling But only when you’re not feeling great Hope that springs like a measured risk Hearts that pound like they know what’s coming One more time might be one too much Still we fly toward the long long nothing
8.
Megaplex 03:31
Come to the megaplex, they said, it’ll be so much fun So I put my best shirt on And borrowed some cash from my mom’s purse I saw you in line, oblivious to everything around you And darling, now that I’ve found you I’m not certain that I’ve had time to rehearse And it’s a long dark alley to here And it’s a crooked avenue home If you don’t stop waiting it’s a long time waving hello You finally notice me, I think I honestly can’t quite tell, this feels like a private hell My feet are cement blocks affixed to the floor Then ten hours pass, perhaps I can’t measure the time I’ve spent I don’t know where my friends went But this isn’t about the film anymore The screen lights up but nobody’s watching ‘Cause they’re falling apart The scene gets hot but nobody’s watching ‘Cause they’re falling apart Come to the megaplex, they said I snapped back to find you gone I guess someone put the movie on But it’s the same as the last one Which was same as the last one Which was same as the last one
9.
Get Through 03:22
Sent you a melodica in the mail You sent it back with a parchment that read “no sale” What do I have to do What do I have to do to get through What do I have, what, what do I have to do What do I have to do to get through to you? I shouted your name on the tin can phone Your voice crackled on the line to say you weren’t home I dreamed that we fell into new habits But even there you retorted to call it quits
10.
“Smile”, she said, “’cause everyone is falling to pieces” She said it never was quite her own idea She said it wouldn’t be the same if I wrapped it up in tinfoil To disseminate the blame Will you be there to cover me in fear? It finally happened today Barbara said it was coming this time last year Now she’s out of things to say Now go on back Back to the patio where everything started I never understood so I smiled and nodded She tried to look me up and down With malevolence in hand to turn a smile into a frown She looked like a kid leaving a candy store empty-handed And she stared at the ground And told me in confidence, “I want you around”
11.
I don’t care about the money you make And I don’t mind if you’re a little bit late And I’m all right with what you wanna do It’s all just fine as long as I’m with you You wanna scream and shout in the distance I won’t put up a lick of resistance Care about the money you make I’ll overlook all the steps you don’t take And I’m on board with the people you know Ain’t got no income since a decade ago Well, I can’t get back the days that you chatter I don’t pull back, it’s mind over matter Care about the money you make, let’s do it I see the man sidling up to your side He gonna flash the teeth, wanna go for a ride And when you come home, got a spring in your heel Anything just to get a hot meal I put up with the false adoration You’ve got the gall to go on vacation One day you’re gonna drain that account And wish you could jump right back in the fountain I’m not the one betraying myself ‘Cause all that you want is somebody else Who cares about the money you make Someone who cares about the money you make, ha
12.
A road to ruin paved with gold, a plot line ready to unfold A damsel living with distress Another big, Caucasian mess You were the only one worth waking up to You make me, in time I’ll make you back too When everything is falling apart You still manage to stir my heart You are the handlebar to grip for life When my situations and my laces untied I fell around the phone and that’s where I woke up I woke up there alone If you say to me you ache then I ache in the same place A day spent turning people off You say you’ve got a pancake cough You are the light through venetian blinds, dear You make the dictators change their minds here I dove into your open lungs And the cat inside ripped out my tongue You wish and dream that it’s April first And the feeling of the stop-and-go won’t mind I fell around your feet and that’s where I’d throw up But you’re still underneath You grew a disguise on your face always You knew exactly what to say always Your skull protects the admiral He wants all of us to pay in full So, don’t you worry and wain for us ‘Cause there’s no sense for both sides to freak I fell around the stone and that’s where I’ll grow up I’ll grow up here alone

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released May 25, 2018

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Scott Gesser Phoenix, Arizona

I'm the guy who records all of this.

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