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Hey Realistic Delilah

by Scott Gesser

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1.
Hey there Delilah, what’s it like in New York City? I’m a thousand miles away And so you must be feeling shitty and ignored Since I’m out on a global tour I bet you’re bored Hey there Delilah, I suppose it’s kind of funny That I’m sitting in my penthouse On a giant pile of money, and you’re not Take a look at all the cash I’ve got That’s kind of hot Oh, I’m really into me Oh, I’m flawless as can be Oh, I’m perfect to a T Oh, I’m emo royalty, go buy my CD Hey there Delilah, hope you like these words adorning All the melodies I’ve cranked out That make underage girls horny in the crowd Oh wait, did I say that out loud? I’m awful proud Hey there Delilah, I expect our love to blossom ‘Cause I know you’ve never dated anyone So frickin’ awesome like I am I’m flying to England and Japan I am the man Oh, I’m super into me Oh, I’m famous you can see Oh, I’m all kinds of trendy Oh, and plus I’m on TV Can you believe how weird it is I’m popular for writing this? I’m got a brand new lifestyle I can flaunt My friends, they all say I’m insane Because I’m rich and you’re just plain And I can bang a model if I want Delilah, I can clearly see Why you would want to get with me I’m handsome an immaculate and cool And modest too Hey there Delilah, guess it turns out I was wrong Because you dumped me like twelve hours After I released this song but that’s okay I never liked you anyway You’ll probably tell your friends I’m gay But now that I’ve received airplay I’m getting laid Oh, you shouldn’t have messed with me Oh, I’m a celebrity Oh, I’m my own dynasty Oh, I hope you get VD or an STD Oh, oh, oh A, I, E, U and sometimes Y Oh
2.
Hey there Delilah, what’s it like in New York City? I’m a thousand miles away And so you must be feeling shitty and ignored Since I’m out on a global tour I bet you’re bored Hey there Delilah, I suppose it’s kind of funny That I’m sitting in my penthouse On a giant pile of money, and you’re not Take a look at all the cash I’ve got That’s kind of hot Oh, I’m really into me Oh, I’m flawless as can be Oh, I’m perfect to a T Oh, I’m emo royalty, go buy my CD Hey there Delilah, hope you like these words adorning All the melodies I’ve cranked out That make underage girls horny in the crowd Oh wait, did I say that out loud? I’m awful proud Hey there Delilah, I expect our love to blossom ‘Cause I know you’ve never dated anyone So frickin’ awesome like I am I’m flying to England and Japan I am the man Oh, I’m super into me Oh, I’m famous you can see Oh, I’m all kinds of trendy Oh, and plus I’m on TV Can you believe how weird it is I’m popular for writing this? I’m got a brand new lifestyle I can flaunt My friends, they all say I’m insane Because I’m rich and you’re just plain And I can bang a model if I want Delilah, I can clearly see Why you would want to get with me I’m handsome an immaculate and cool And modest too Hey there Delilah, guess it turns out I was wrong Because you dumped me like twelve hours After I released this song but that’s okay I never liked you anyway You’ll probably tell your friends I’m gay But now that I’ve received airplay I’m getting laid Oh, you shouldn’t have messed with me Oh, I’m a celebrity Oh, I’m my own dynasty Oh, I hope you get VD or an STD Oh, oh, oh Ow, that really burns Holy fuck, ow, motherfucking shit Cock all over my fucking Oh Jesus, God it hurts It hurts so bad It's like my brain cells are gagging

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released January 1, 2022

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Scott Gesser Phoenix, Arizona

I'm the guy who records all of this.

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