Biggest Asshole Ever | Scott Gesser

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Biggest Asshole Ever

from Admiral Vanilla by Scott Gesser

	/

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lyrics

There was a girl in the 40's
Who lived in Amsterdam with her family
She used to hide from the Nazis
And wrote down all of her thoughts in a diary
Then sometime after she died
Somebody found the house where she used to hide
He said, "I'll publish this book far and wide
And maybe I'll make a little cash on the side"

He's the biggest asshole ever, biggest asshole ever
He's probably insanely rich
But he's mostly just a fucking bitch
The biggest asshole ever
Yeah, that guy's a cunt

There was this guy named Charles Manson
Started a family, they all thought he was handsome
And since he killed lots of people
It wouldn't be a stretch to say that he's evil
He followed Scientology on a whim
But quit because he said it was too crazy for him
Meanwhile, L. Ron Hubbard was collecting his checks
And a few decades later, he brainwashed Beck

He's the biggest asshole ever, biggest asshole ever
I don't give a shit what you're trying to do
The jerk store called and they're out of you
The biggest asshole ever
I hope his kids get AIDS

Shakespeare wrote a lot of good sonnets
But he slit all of his characters' throats
The king of Spain threw his wealth at Columbus
But he couldn't fucking pilot a boat
Dr. Phil, talking out of his sphincter
Doesn't know a Goddamn thing about health
Mel Gibson is an asshole and he's also a dick
So he can literally go fuck himself
Yeah, he can fuck himself

There are so many tragedies
And they get cheapened by stupid songs like these
I'm almost like a parasitic disease
But I don't really care as long as you buy my CDs

I'm the biggest asshole ever, biggest asshole ever
The worst thing you can be by far
Is a douche bag with an acoustic guitar
So I'm the biggest asshole ever
And you can suck my balls

credits

from Admiral Vanilla, released November 5, 2013

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Scott Gesser Phoenix, Arizona

I'm the guy who records all of this.

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