Inappropriate Boner

from Medium Pimpin' by Scott Gesser

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lyrics

I had a friend who was dating this girl
And they got married and they had a big wedding
And I was so excited to be the best man
But I had no idea where the night would be heading
The ceremony was beautiful
But things took a turn when I got to the reception
'Cause I asked the bride if she wanted to dance
And as I held her in my arms I got a massive erection

It was an inappropriate boner
It's always just popping up unannounced
Big ol' inappropriate boner
It happens every time I leave the house

Well, the very next weekend my in-laws came over
And I'm not one to judge but they're really religious
And they wanted to check out the local synagogue
So I took 'em to a temple that was mighty prestigious
And as the rabbi was giving his sermon
My mother in law screamed, "Oh my God!"
And the entire congregation turned around to find
My dick a-pointin' at the sky like a divining rod

It was an inappropriate boner
It's starting to ruin my life, doggone it
Majorly inappropriate boner
The rabbi suggested I put a yarmulke on it

You know, about a month later my uncle died
So I solemnly drove to the cemetery
And all of his friends showed up dressed in black
And we all gathered 'round to watch him get buried
And as I looked at all the people who loved him
Some were wiping their eyes
Some were holding back tears
And I wanted so badly to console everyone
But apparently my penis had other ideas

Another inappropriate boner
I wish that I could make it go away
Gigantic inappropriate boner
I swear I didn't take a Viagra today, goddammit
Inappropriate boner
I wish I could deflate it but I don't know how
But at least I get to hold a guitar by my waist
'Cause I've got an inappropriate
Hugely inconsiderate, massively unfortunate
I've got a boner right now

credits

from Medium Pimpin', released September 22, 2015

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Scott Gesser Phoenix, Arizona

I'm the guy who records all of this.

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