Let Us Pray

from Admiral Vanilla by Scott Gesser

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lyrics

Some people like to pray to God
Some people tend to worship Allah
Still others only look to Buddha
And that's fine for them
But I've spent my days not really sure
Of the deity that I could search for
Until I came across a clothing store
And that bucked the trend

Now all of a sudden, his power is everywhere
I see it so clearly, though it looks like there's nothing there
And every time I'm given the chance
I have to revere the inventor of yoga pants

Some people go to Sunday Mass
Personally, I'd rather worship that ass
I might even take a Zumba class just to get a peek
And to the heavens I pray
“I hate to see you go, but I love to watch you walk away
Now remember what those ancient sermons say
And turn the other cheek”

Whenever I spot them, those church bells begin to chime
The ladies that wear them don't even do yoga half the time
I'd offer up my greatest rain dance
To bask in the glory of the inventor of yoga pants

And now I spot them everywhere that I go
You might be working on your downward dog
But all I see is camel toe
They look so damn comfortable
It's like you ain't wearing nothing at all
And I would wear them too
But no one's looking to view
The exact outline of my cock and my balls, now

The texts of our elders might rattle off random prose
But they don't have a garment made for sitting in lotus pose
Or walking around campus, or even picking up eggs
Moses parted the Red Sea, but I'd settle for your legs, now
Whoever came up with this, I'm sure I don't know him
But if it came down to it, I'd probably blow him
Every day's a new religious experience
Thanks to my supernatural muse, the inventor of yoga pants
The inventor of yoga pants

But seriously, I can see your vagina

credits

from Admiral Vanilla, released November 5, 2013

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about

Scott Gesser Phoenix, Arizona

I'm the guy who records all of this.

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